I suppose the logical point to begin the explanation of where a behavior pattern originated, would be at the beginning, or where the first experiences occurred. However, I do not have the slightest idea where the actual beginning is. Until I was four years old, I never had my long curls cut off and wore a most effeminate costume. I have a picture of myself, at that age-- not a snapshot, but a regular studio photograph--taken of me dressed in black velvet shorts, with matching suspenders and a white satin blouse, together with long curly hair. I first saw this picture when I was about 28 years old, after having been in and out of the Service, graduated from college and by then, a complete FP. (To use your new designation.) I was never aware of this photo before and had never even known I had been so dressed and was amazed to be told, "That's you." (One sister said to me, referring to the picture, "Didn't you look cute!" and I wondered what she would have thought, if she knew how much I then wanted to wear feminine attire.) I attempted to think back, but I could not remember a single detail concerning my dress or hair at that age.

I know that psychologists say that the pre-school years are the most important formative years, but in this instance, I dis- agree completely as to possible significance, as I have not the faintest recollection and I would never have known, were it not for the chance seeing of this photograph years later. So, I fail to see how events of which I have no knowledge, can be of bear- ing or importance.

During my early years, I never at any time had a desire or inclination to play with girl's things or indulge in their games or pastimes and in fact, had a distinct aversion to anything connect- ed with femininity and to associate with girls or to be like them in any way, would have been a "fate worse than death". I got along excellently with the other boys my age and was regarded as completely normal and perfectly masculine and I engaged in all the boyish sports and activities, in which I was as good as most and better than many. However, I was painfully shy with older people and females of any age.

13.